…shouldn’t we combine funerals with weddings, christenings, retirement parties, and open houses?
For example:
“Danforth Giddle passed away Wednesday the 24th after a lengthily battle with local drug lords in Tijuana. He leaves behind his loving daughter, Marta Giddle, 23, who will be marrying Spencer Juarez on the same day at the Holiday Inn Resort in the Cervesa Room after the memorial service. Marta and Spencer, while still grieving for the loss of Danforth, welcome little Spence Jr. into the world and his christening, officiated by Padre Blow, will take place at the pool side after the Juarez/Giddle wedding. Drinks will be provided (because, let’s be honest, you’ll need ‘em by this point). After Master Juarez’s christening, please join the family in the Mexicali Tia lounge to offer congratulations to Tito Rodriguez, who is stepping down as VP of the Juarez Family Bidness after 6 fruitful, abundant years. Tito plans to move to Venezuela and change his name to Bonita. Concluding the day’s festivities, all are invited to visit Danforth Giddle’s 16 bedroom, 9 bathroom villa-style home in the Rosarito region of Tijuana, in the Baja California area. This home, located on a quiet cul de sac near schools with armed, private guards, boasts an amazing Western view where you can watch the sunset over the tumbleweeds! An existing staff will cook authentic Swiss food, and make sure your rooms are cleaned every morning! Two of the bathrooms come equipped with jet tubs, HD TVs, and bowling alleys! Act fast – priced at just 11.9 million, this Southern Paradise is sure to move fast!
Poll: Chips and pop, or chocolate and coffee?
